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  • Writer's picturelaurasylvv

What is self-love?

I think there are so many misconceptions about what self-love is, that people shy away from it because they think they're getting it 'wrong' or struggle to know where to start.

(I completely get that, i've been there)

And one thing I will say from that before you read any further is that self-love isn't a destination, it's something you have to choose over and over again.

It's a daily commitment to yourself, that in itself is an act self-love.

I feel that growing up, any form of self-love was seen as vanity, arrogant or that you're 'full of yourself'. None of these are true. In fact, I don't think I ever heard the term 'self-love' being used at school, or in my teens, only "she loves herself"... you know the ones.. 😒

It was frowned upon to show any form of love or kindness to yourself, but it was expected of you to show love and kindness to others, like what's up with that?

I remember in my 20's it was almost 'cool' to be cynical and to loathe yourself, I remember feeling like this most of the time. After some reflection, I think the reason was because if things went wrong, you screwed up, made a mistake, you were already in a lack mindset, so the blow didn't hurt as much. But that's no way to live.

Like "yay, she's putting herself down!" 👏🏻 said no-one ever!

And from there, we're all trying to unlearn all the BS information we've been fed around self-love being selfish etc. It's time we learnt how to speak kindly to ourselves, how to be compassionate, gentle and patient with ourselves. These are the things that should be taught in schools and celebrated!

So let's go back to the beginning. What is self-love?

Firstly, it might mean something different to everyone. To me self-love means being there for myself through it all, the good and the bad. Showing kindness and compassion even when I get things wrong or make mistakes - it hasn't always been this way, it's taken a lot of unlearning, relearning, practising, failing and trying again (and I use the word fail lightly)