Procrastination + Comparison
I'm sure you've experienced them both, either one at a time or both together. Ouch!
As if one of them on it's own wasn't bad enough, when the two are mixed, let's just say it's not a good feeling.
They are both so common, especially in the world we live in today, we have 24/7 access to the internet and social media. While it can be great in many many ways, we're often blindsided and fall into the trap of thinking we're not good enough, or that our life sucks, if we aren't mindful about how we use it.
I've been there and I'm sure you have too.
Let's say you have an essay to write, you start to research online to help inspire you and to find information to help you write it. Then you get a Instagram banner pop up that somebody has liked your photo/or commented, so you harmlessly take a look, after all it'll only take a few seconds right? You take a look and the next thing you know you've been scrolling mindlessly for an hour, in full procrastination mode and then comes it's evil sister, comparison...
Not only are you now heavily procrastinating, you're subconsciously comparing your life to others that you see on screen, not completely aware of all the negative things being consumed by your mind as you continue to scroll. It could be influencers in the Maldives or Bali making everything look easy, effortless and amazing and you slowly start to feel your self-worth and self-esteem drain from you completely, leaving you feeling empty, not good enough, worthless, numb...
Can you resonate with this? If you can, I feel you sister, you are not alone. It doesn't have to be like this and it doesn't mean giving up social media either, we can always find balance.
Firstly it's important to remember that what you see isn't reality, photos are posed, set up and made to look amazing, but what you don't see or hear are the conversations behind the photos, you can't feel their feelings, you don't know what they're thinking about. People can portray one thing but be feeling and thinking another.
Depression for example, somebody can appear super happy but be utterly depressed inside, it's just a mask, a front, but rip of the band aid and it'll reveal the deep wounds.
Comparison is the thief of joy, I'd go beyond that and say that comparison is a thief of much more than that. I was having a deep chat with a soul sister yesterday about comparison, one thing about it is that we hate to admit to it, because it feels pretty disgusting, you feel that you should not be thinking that way, it feels gross, like envy and jealousy. Neither are nice traits.
We can even compare ourselves to our best friends, whether it's that they've just bought a new house, recently got engaged, become pregnant, had major success at work etcccc and that's when it feels ultra gross, because you are happy for them, so so happy, but you still can't help but feel that horrible sinking feeling in your stomach, like something has been taken from you.
I just want to remind you, right here, right now, that if you are or have experienced these feelings, then congratulations, you are human and it's completely normal, everyone feels this at some point in their life. It doesn't mean you aren't happy for them, it just means you have feelings and they're valid.
What you don't want to happen is have them take over and turn into self sabotage. Use that deep sinking feeling as motivation to go after what it is you want even more than ever.
Make those feelings turn procrastination into drive and determination, with power and energy behind it.
Horrible or negative feelings don't have to remain negative, they can be turned into something positive to help you reach your goal.
Some tips on overcoming procrastination:
- Make the task simple and easy - have an essay to write? Rather than think "I'll dedicate this whole day to write it" instead start out by writing one sentence, do something else for 5 minutes, come back and write another sentence. You might find that it'll start to flow after this.
- Schedule in timeblocks, in that time eliminate distractions completely, give yourself an hour to fully focus then take a break, move your body, get out of your head and schedule another time block.
- Get some fresh air, connect with nature, without your phone.
- Put on a playlist that gets you going.
- Get yourself an accountability partner to check in with, spur each other on.
- Reward yourself
- Take breaks, stay hydrated and get adequate sleep
They are just a few to name, you have it within you to succeed, you are your biggest barrier. Get out of your own way.
YOU CAN DO THIS! I hope you've had a great weekend.
Let me know what you think about this post below, there will be a new blog post up every Sunday.
In the meantime, take a look at all the different services I offer. If you're currently seeking guidance, support or help I'm here for you. Get in touch.
Sending my love,