New Years Resolutions
New Year, New me, you know the drill.
While I'm not against making or setting New Years resolutions, they generally never get seen through do they? I know I'm guilty of that and I'm sure you are too as an assumption (and that's okay) no judgement here.
This year more than ever, I think many of us are desperate for a fresh start, the past two years haven't exactly been easy, for any of us.
Why do we set New Years resolutions?
The answers are usually along the lines of wanting to stop old habits, adopt new, healthy habits, make positive changes in our lives, follow a healthier diet after an over indulgent Christmas, start getting up for the gym 3/4 times a week at 6am for that summer body.
Despite knowing these changes are generally reasonably healthy, why is it we're rarely ever able to stick to them?
The answers when properly thought about, are quite simple really.
You aren't clear about what it is you really want, or don't want
You have no strategy
You want to give something up, go cold turkey, but have nothing to replace that habit with
You don't make or schedule time for it
It was unrealistic to begin with (setting yourself up for failure)
You don't actually want to make this change, it just sounds/looks good (especially to others)
You want it, but aren't committed
You have the wrong mindset (you don't believe in yourself)
Too much time thinking about it, without actually taking any action
You know your what, but not your why
Another reason I believe they don't work is because it's usually something far from what we do now, a complete and utter lifestyle change to how we're currently living, making it almost impossible before we even start.
You want to quit smoking, go cold turkey, but you currently smoke 30 cigarettes a day. So New Years eve you smoke and smoke and smoke and try to enjoy it while you can, then the next day, suddenly you're trying to tell yourself you can't have any, nada, zero. What do you think happens?
You want to start eating healthier so over the Christmas period you gorge more than ever on anything and everything you can get your hands on. The 1st of Jan comes and you semi succeed apart from the odd celebration, but one week in, you've had a takeaway night 2 times in a week, and you've finished the rest of the mince pies and cream before they go out of date. The guilt comes and your resolution is soon old news. You spend the next few months or even whole year beating yourself up for failing, but it's no wonder without an actual purpose or reason, without a plan or strategy. Is the goal you want a 100% fuck yes or a "a part of me wants to, but a part of me wants takeout 3 nights a week and drinks at the weekend with the girls"
These are just some examples, but the main reason they're never followed through is because we try and go from one extreme to the other.
If you really want something, it doesn't need to be on January 1st, or on a Monday. It's about finding your what, your why (purpose for doing or not doing x) having a doable and realistic plan/strategy and making small changes to your daily habits and lifestyle, tiny implements which pay off in the long run for success, achievement and fulfilment.
Having an accountability partner, coach mentor or just supportive friend works wonders too, it keeps up the momentum rather than running on your own willpower, which will at times get the better of you, because you're human, the brain will naturally seek the thing that requires least effort, so don't be too hard on yourself.
If you're looking to make changes in your life, don't go all or nothing, it usually doesn't end well. Make a plan of action and go for it, at your own pace. Comparison is the thief of joy.
Instead of giving something up, could you add something to your life instead, like reading a chapter of a book daily for personal growth, learning to make a new dish once a week. Starting a new hobby, etc, it doesn't always have to be about taking from, it could be adding something fulfilling to your life.
It could be a year of wanting to work on yourself, self-growth, self-improvement for a future you look forward to rather than dread because you're mentally well equipped for whatever life throws at you?
And as an empowerment coach, I am totally here for that transformation to guide you through.
Here's to an amazing 2022.
I'd love to hear your thoughts below, or if you're wanting to work on yourself, please do get in touch, I'd love to hear from you.
All my love,
Laura x